Mean Girls
Mean Girls
That Is So Fetch!
For our very first episode of Please Don’t Spoil the Movie we recapped a movie that was a staple growing up, Mean Girls. If somehow, you’ve never seen this glorious film of the 2000s, Mean Girls is a coming of age moving starring Lindsey Lohan (the it girl of her time) who plays Cady Heron. The film follows Cady who is fresh off the boat from Africa and must adapt to the mean streets of American high school.
Cady who arrives on her first day of school is clearly overwhelmed by this transition. Luckily enough soon Cady gets adopted by two lovely outcasts, Janis, and Damian, who teach her the way of high school. But it is when Regina George, the leader of The Plastics, is charmed by the new girl and asks her to join the hottest girl group on campus that Cady gets a quick lesson on the twisted minds of high school girls.
Cady not sure what the hell is going on agrees to continue hanging out with the Plastics to help Janis fulfill a long-awaited revenge fantasy. Janis who was once besties with Regina wants payback after her social status plummeted when Regina spread a rumor that Janis was a lesbian. The stars aligned, and the clouds opened, and god looked down at Janis and said, “crucify that bitch.”
Cady the shy foreign white woman that she is isn’t fully committed to the plan, that is until she makes the mistake of liking the same guy that Regina used to like. And despite getting the necessary approval needed to date a friend’s ex-boyfriend Regina decides “meh I changed my mind you can’t have him.” Regina George gets back with her basic-looking boyfriend Aaron Samuels leaving Cady heartbroken.
Cady now sees Regina for the evil being that she is and joins Janice’s forces in destroying her life. Throughout the movie, we see Cady, Janis, and Damian devoting all their time to coming up with plans to end Regina George. They’re switching out smelling good lotions with other smelling good lotions, they’re making her eat protein bars and telling her that bread doesn’t make you fat, and they’re creating new trends where you cut out holes in your shirt so you can show off your colorful bras. Yet somehow after all this Regina is still loved, feared, and worshiped by all her peers.
It’s not until Regina is betrayed by her most loyal friend that the cracks in her foundation began to get more cracks and things break and stuff. Gretchen Wieners the clear number two in the group is not handling the ups and downs that come with being Regina’s flunky and starts to spill secrets about her dearest friend. The most damaging being that Regina is cheating on her vanilla boyfriend with a wrestling player.
And Cady now a double agent uses this intel to end Regina’s relationship with her boring boyfriend. Now that Regina is boyfriendless and eating plates and plates of bread Cady is slowly moving up in the ranks and the Frankenstein that Janis created is now roaming free. Everything comes to head when Regina sits down at the plastic lunch table wearing a velvet track suit on a day she is not allowed to. And with the “You just can’t sit here” heard around the whole cafeteria Regina is officially kicked out of the clique she once ruled.
Now with Regina out Cady is chosen to take her place. And with great power comes a lot of bullshit. Cady begins to crumble under the pressures of balancing her double life, getting Aaron Samuels to like her and math. And just when Cady thought it couldn’t get worse. Regina decides if she’s not happy no one is going to be! Regina comes up with a Dexter-level plan to distribute copies of the infamous burn book that contains mean but true comments about every girl in the yearbook.
Some of the most notable comments are that Amber D’Alessio made out with a hot dog, Damian is too gay to function, and Trang Pak made out with Coach Carr. The rumors and accusations send the girls into a rage, and they all turn on one another. Once the outbreak is contained all the girls are ordered into the gymnasium to discuss their feelings. It is here Janis decides to take this opportunity to confess her sins as she reveals her scheme to tear down Regina. To which Janis is praised by her community. Cady still somewhat of a human being tries to apologize for her cruel actions but it falls on death’s ear once Regina is hit by a rogue school bus. And she dies…the end!
Just kidding…wouldn’t that have been a crazy ending?
Regina in fact survives her terrible accident. Which pushes Cady to start the process of writing her wrongs. Cady redeems herself by being really good a math, taking full blame for the burn book, and sitting behind a guy who farts a lot in class. The universe accepts her sacrifices and awards her with winning prom queen and finally getting the “hottest” boy in high school (the bar is in hell).
And they all live happily ever after until they turn like 25 and life starts to get really hard…
There’s no denying how iconic the movie that brought us “She doesn’t even go here,” “You go Glen Coco,” and “On Wednesday’s we wear pink” is. Mean Girls is a movie that we always love to revisit. Check out our Mean Girls podcast episode where we recap the movie and discuss our favorite scenes, shocking moments, and the film’s impact.
And remember if you’re a mean girl you WILL get hit by a school bus.
